There’s nothing wrong with wanting to win. The kids want to win, parents like the team to win, and coaches prefer winning to the alternative. Our teams at METRO FLAG FOOTBALL try to win every game we play and I would eventually like for our club to be recognized among the most competitive youth flag football programs in the country. However, winning can’t be the main goal when coaching at this level.
Head out to the fields on any given weekend and it’s easy to identify the coaches who view winning as the primary objective. Coaches who yell at their kids when they make a mistake or are remiss about getting their less experienced players valuable game reps are the same ones who take credit when the kids win, talking about the outcome in terms of “I” and “me”. People, kids especially, are perceptive. Our players and families can recognize our true intentions and will respond accordingly. If they feel their coach cares about them and is providing a positive experience, they will give a greater effort in practices and in games. If they sense that the coach has flawed motives, they’ll likely hold back. The natural consequence is that a coach who goes into the season looking to boost his own ego by winning will usually fall short of his goal.
On the subject of winning, know that player talent is the number one determinant for which team wins the game in youth flag football. If we’re doing things the right way, there’s no need to beat ourselves up after a loss. Nor should we congratulate ourselves too much after a win. Since we know that it is the players who win the games, we as coaches can focus on the more important responsibilities of keeping them safe, teaching them football, setting a good example, and providing a positive experience. Do those things and you should be recognized as a great coach regardless of your team’s win-loss record.